Pavitra (Philippe Barbier Saint-Hilaire)
A Talk by Pavitra
To the students and teachers at the Ashram school, 8 August 1964
(Pavitra:) “I had explained to him [Sri Aurobindo] my desire for liberation, I had told him that that is what I was seeking – not so much liberation from rebirth as liberation... liberation from myself, from the ego, from ignorance and sin, from falsehood, from all that makes up the ordinary human life. Liberation, Moksha, that was my ideal. I didn't place it in some other heaven, I didn't particularly want to avoid suffering – it was the weight of ignorance, of falsehood, of ugliness, all that. And more than avoiding something, I was looking for something positive. I was looking for light – not so much the avoidance of suffering, the end of suffering nor the end of falsehood, but Light, Knowledge, Truth.”
(Mother to Satprem, 1963:) “He [Pavitra] always used to go out of his body in his aspiration and to rise very high – I told him a hundred times that he shouldn't do it, it wasn't good (for HIM; to another I would have said to do it). He never understood, and every time he meditated, brrt! he would go out of his body. Then the other day he told me, “Ah, now I've understood! I was always seeking Mother up above, till suddenly I couldn't find anything any more. So I concentrated here [in the body], and I found Mother immediately.” And he added, “It's because now Mother is here!” (Mother laughs) I didn't explain anything, but that was exactly the point!
I didn't tell him anything, but I smiled as though he had made a discovery!
People try to come into contact with something that's HERE!”
(Janina, 1957:) “I have seen Pavitra just now, after my lunch when I went to Sri Aurobindo [the Samadhi] to thank Him for everything and ask for help, that my surrender may grow. Pavitra's eyes are possessed by Mother, so I feel it. It was a wonderful moment to recognize Her in him. He is so very, very good to me in such a kind way and so delicate. But in a way I do not have any problems and I do not need anything. I told him that I feel like I have come home and he said, “At last!” in such a way that all his soul was in his eyes. And he said that I seem to have adapted very quickly.”
(Amal Kiran:) “You know how the Mother made out of me a keeper of furniture... I used to receive appeals for various kinds of things from people. Our Pavitra once sent me an appeal. He was not quite a master of English at that time. He sent me the note: “I want four blocks to understand my table.” (laughter) I supplied to him what he required, with a reply-note: “Here are the needed blocks. Fortunately they are not blockheads: otherwise your table would never have been understood.” (laughter) Later Pavitra told me he realised the joke and greatly enjoyed it.”
(1 year and 4 months after Pavitra's departure:)
(Mother to Satprem, 1971:) “Pavitra is here, he’s very active, he stays near me, I see him very often. Amrita I don’t see that much. Pavitra was absorbed into me and I put him back into a form little by little, and when he was completely formed, I brought him out and he stays very close here.
- (Satprem:) What does he do?
He meets people, he does all sorts of things.
- What work does he do?
He meets people, talks, but he’s here, he hasn’t left the earth’s atmosphere. Amrita left to rest; Pavitra is here, in the subtle physical – that’s where Sri Aurobindo is and it’s a physical that has a strong tendency to materialize.