News & Notes 690:“Spirit” - Parents Anxiety
“Spirit” – Parents Anxiety
This week's article from SPIRIT is about how a parent can be anxious about their child learning a subject; and how it is just exactly this parent anxiety that prevents the child from learning.
Perhaps some parents need to learn to control their anxiety, and try not to care too much. It is a challenge, but then all life is yoga. The learning abilities of the child depend on the trust and tranquility, patience, letting go and mellowness of the parents.
The general current attitude on learning is that a subject to be learned represents an obstacle, which the student is expected to overcome. And with this attitude, any subject becomes difficult to learn.
But if the student (of any age) is encouraged rather than corrected – even when they are not doing particularly well – they will overcome their first psychological hurdle. And that's what this is all about!
Once the first psychological obstacle has been overcome, everything else will be easy. The psychological obstacle is the core challenge to learning, but actually, any subject can be learned easily, naturally.
When I first tried to give drumming classes for example, I didn't know how to teach and I was correcting continuously. Then I noticed that the more I corrected or said <<no, not like that >>, the more the insecurity of the students grew, and therefore their learning process was slowed or impeded. But when I encouraged them, they progressed. So now I have learned not to interfere too much with their natural learning process, I only give a nudge of encouragement and show them what I know.
Here's another example of parents anxiety: a friend of mine in Europe got married and had a pair of twins (a boy and a girl). Over the years I saw them on visits and saw them growing up. Last time I saw them, they were 12 years old. During a small chat I found out that the boy had quit football. His father was into martial arts and sports, and particularly into football. And I remember he was very excited about wanting to teach football to his son. So I asked the little boy what happened. He replied that he was taken to a football training centre, which his father also joined. His father used to push the kid excessively to excel during these training, and didn't allow the kid to learn at his own pace. Eventually the young boy went to his mother in tears saying that he didn't want to go anymore, and he now hates anything to do with football or martial arts.
On the other hand, his twin sister, who was taken to ballet, she eventually joined of her own choice a martial art class and became quite good at it.
So, as you can see, one child was pushed and bullied, whilst the other one was left alone and excelled with what she chose.
This article was brought to you by the “Spirit (community)” community. Please look for us for more discussion; or contact us on AurovilleSpirit (at) gmail.com
For consultation and further information on Conscious Parenting and Natural Learning, please call Megan on 978-741-6417.
Submitted by Gino